我喜欢音乐,不是因为潮流.
是一个从小就培养的兴趣.

记得小时候,妈妈常开着收音机,一边做家务事,一边跟着收音机唱.
那时我还没上幼稚园...认识的字少之又少,但又觉的的旋律很好听,就会跟着音乐哼...
到了三岁那一年，妈妈问我对钢琴有没有兴趣.那时的我不知道钢琴是什么.妈妈便带我到yamaha参观.
看了一会儿,不知为什么,我傻傻的就说我想学钢琴.妈妈听到,兴奋及了.每多久,我便成了那儿的学生.刚开始既兴奋,又紧张.好奇的我总是迫不及待地想触摸那琴键.久了,学会的曲子也越来越多.

四岁...
幼稚园开始有了音乐课.课室内有一架又黑,又明亮的钢琴.
我每一次上音乐课时都想去用那钢琴.但因为怕被老师逮到,所以只能空想,不敢去碰.
直到有一天,一节音乐课时,老师突然问起班上里谁会弹钢琴.我和另一位女同学举了手.老师于是点了那位女同学去弹首歌.她自信满满的弹了首儿歌,同学们都用赞叹的表情看着她.我觉得她好勇敢.此时我多希望当时没举起手.接着,老师便喊我的名字.我害怕的回道说我不会弹儿歌.老师说随便弹一首歌都可以.我害羞地弹了一首类似古典音乐的曲子.同学们的表情挂满问号,相信他们根本不知道我在弹什么.那时天真的我认为会弹儿歌比会弹古典音乐还厉害.刹那间,我的自信心全灭了.下课后,全班同学都走了,老师却要我留下,真的吓得我脸青唇白.心里频频想,是不是弹的歌不好听要被罚站...
老师把我拉到课室的小角落,回头看了一眼,确保同学们都离开教室.接着便拿出一个塑料透明罐,里边儿装满着糖果.老师把一粒颜色鲜艳的糖果放在我的小手心上.我忧虑的心情顿时给那温馨的微笑给冲走了.从那时起,每当上完音乐课之后,老师都会给我一粒糖果,鼓励我要把音乐学的更好.这,也成了我们之间的小秘密.


七岁...
钢琴考试的成绩吓呆了钢琴老师.她可能在想...家里没有钢琴,平时看样子也很少练习的小瓜考的还真好.我还偷听到她拿我的成绩单去向别的老师炫耀...呵呵.

九岁...
教妈妈弹一些简单的曲子.妈妈说音乐流在我们的血统里...


十二岁...
学校功课特别忙碌.从分级到会考,没完没了.为了帮不爱读书的我兼顾学业,妈妈把我从音乐学校退出来.她说要学钢琴,长大后还是可以学.


十五-十六岁...
帮学校合唱团钢琴伴奏,也尝试指挥.满好玩的...呵呵.


二十二岁...
现在的我很想学好音乐...也想学点创作...
音乐,是我唯一能抛开烦恼,做回自己的地方.

This is my love

i love the man who is with me now...


but i love the man who blogged that blog even more.
that kind of submission,heart,dreams and hopes.
where are u guys...go back to him.
remember to remind him that God is good.

remind him of this...



God You're never too far.


In fact,
You're just a prayer away. :)

Endless fights

fighting to proof yourself,fighting to get even and fairness.
it's true.if this fight continue,how long would it be before there's space for God to enter.
i can smell the stench just by the look of those pictures.
pictures of war,of what it seems is seeking for peace yet is creating even more anguish,pain,grudges and sufferings.

If only someday there can be a messgae to be spread to the world,how sweet would it be,if the msg is not about the number of deaths in riots and war,but the number of lives reborn of those who came to know God.
Lord,i long to see the beauty of the earth.

Cravings... ...

craving for manhatten fish market's seafood platter for 2, greenhouse cafe's ceasar salad without cheese and squid with an extra egg,marche's calamari and tempura mushrooms,spegeddies's carbonara in linguine aand ice cream brownie,pizza hut's spicy drumlets,thai express's watermelon lime ice blend,cafe@the plaza's soft shell crab and buffet,soul garden's bbq buffet,coffee bean's cafe latte,xin cafe's(iluma) guitar duck,nabin's(shisha shop) lamb meal,spize's@sempang bedok mushroom chicken and fried ayam rice,bedok 85 ba chor mee(second stall) without spring onion,bravassimo's pistachio ice cream,cafe's duck confit,ya kun's french toast,northpoint foodcourt's nasi bryani,upper thomson prata shop's prata and mutton soup,changi village's zhi char(famous tofu,chilli crab,bbq stingray),geylang road 24 hours beancurd and taiwanese snacks,aston's double-up chicken and rbc rootbeer,nonya/javanese food near upper thomson road,hokkaido green tea and black sesame ice cream,suki sushi's(only amk branch) ebi tofu mentai without onion and spring onion,etc etc etc.


look at the list...
i must be hungry,tat's why...

just nobody can speak into my heart.
i don't wanna speak to anyone either.

i feel like i'm throwing myself back into a fire pit again,again,again...
and guess what,i'm trying to bring him along as well?what the heck am i doing?!am i doing something gd or is it an act of selfishness? It's a split of good and bad.
Something i need to accept is i just don't wanna do anything that requires me to take heart in it anymore.That crap simply treat my life like a joke.
i may forgive,but i cant forget...again...is this really a place for me.
ES...it's no longer a reason for me to go back there...it's a reason for me not to go.i can expect what's under the sleeves of everything done.
Things can always be more natural.

kitty kitty kitty...

awww...look at this adorable fellow. it can stand for so long,and look at it's ears...lol.


please don't go adopt a cat bcos of this video,realise it cant stand and fold ears,then return to spca.lol.

Jeremiah 7:22-23



God did not just want people in what they can do in actions(burning sacrifices/offerings,in old testimony).
God command people as well in what we can do in our heart and mind,which is to bring our hearts to obey first before we're able to bring God's command into actions.

Sorry,now i know i am prideful.
i shouldn't dwell too much in who's right and wrong from the past.
cos i cant justify,and i cant judge rightly.

Though indeed i fell hard,and fell from quite a certain height.
Though i do not understand why it happen,though it hurts and break me.
Though everytime i recollect it,my tears flow secretly.
Though it did make me shut my doors for a period.

But now Lord,let me cry one last loud cry. Thereafter,let me follow You.
Let me not judge myself with the number of contribution and status.
Let me not judge whether i'm worthy or not to serve.
Let me hand my feelings of grudges and hatred to You,so that You can remove it.

Give me again a pure heart,who know how to love You,love Your people purely.
Give me again a pure heart,who know how to have pure joy in serving.
Give me again a pure heart that i have,
when i first knew You.

Your kid is trying,and is coming back.

well,time to move on.

Where's the group of people i love..?
where's those bunch of ppl who loves fun,loves music,loves to take pictures like nuts?

and where's those bunch of ppl who really knows how to create laughter,music and beautiful pictures of memories?

it's been years...God, You know what i'm holding on to...

jol came with a sunflower today.
actually when she told me she'll be visiting me i''m kinda surprised. was sick for the past few days and i don't like the feeling at all. it's as if i'm suffocated with all those thicky mucus in my nose. anyway,i discovered a new joleen today. i din know she's someone who will express care and concern to an outward extent.maybe a call of greeting is good enough. but seems like this impression of her in my thought is wrong. brought her to ikea. it's facsinating.not jus ikea fascinates me.it's interesting to hear reviews from someone new to ikea as well.had a good fun sharing day.

i want more ikea meatballs!

For donkey years,i had not touched my blog. Reason because i had not surf the net for decades,due to not touching my computer as long as not surfing the net.
i tend to talk to toys rather than human beings recently.Sounds like some kids who suffer autism.lol. But well,i find it kinda entertaining. They are great listeners,they are faithful(cos they cant run anywhere either),and they always give that same smiling expressions.lol.
Anyways,side-tracking from this topic,went to watch a movie this evening which was highly rated in a website-Inglorious Bastards. A movie which can be viewed using various angles. From my point of view,people who are looking for inspirations to crack lame jokes to irritate your enemies/friends,feel free to watch it.i'm sure you'll get enough inspirations out of it. People who cant endure the bitterness of lame jokes(people like me),you're advised to give it a miss.Skip it! I'm not sure if i'm not intellectual enough or lacking in historical knowledge of Nazism. To my knowledge,it's not much of a link. Moral of this lesson-do not trust ratings of movie from a any-old-how website. that's all for this entry. a-dieu,blog.

Michael jackson said something very right.
That is : the world need more love.
alot of people know what's love all about,they tried to love.
But they have all forgotten what is pure and innocent love all about.
actions mostly came with motives and purposes,as often forgot about the importance of a pure motive of love normally differ in miles from love out of other purposes.
coming to the subject of pure love,i guess adults are the ones who need to observe and learn from children.nowadays people often choose friends,emphazing on 利用价值.i classify these as ignorance.because,they know not of having a pure heart.

how is it like to know you're the pop star with the most fans in the world?
how is it like to stand on a stage listening to countless of fans cheering and shouting your name?
how is it like to know you're the most succesful singer in history?
michael jackson's life,i think is like a legend.
almost imposibly.
impossibly famous,impossibly rich,impossibly daring,impossibly amazing.
leaving people in the maze of his life-a mystery.
though not a hard core fan of his,i find it convincing why he gained such a vast popularity.
this sudden lost of this star left fans in tears,left concert organiser in trouble,left media goin round earning money from his death news.
though not really that sad,but i do sympathize his life.it seemed incomplete,to leave in the toughest period of his life.

tribute to this grand life and music of the greatest pop star -Michael Jackson.

祷告之时甘甜之时
使我离开烦恼之事
来到神的座前发表
所有意愿所有需要
当我遇到重压忧愁
我灵却常得着自由
不陷恶者所有布置
因为有你祷告之时
祷告之时甘甜之时
如有只翼载我愿辞
来他宝座向他求恳
他是信实他是全真
他既命我寻求他面
信他话语靠他恩典
我要将我重担卸释
在于你前甘甜之时

time for me to explore cookery.
i suppose it can be a form of art as well.
to be expressed,to impress,to experience.
i think i am quite abled in this.though,limited in knowledge.
i don't intend to join this workforce.but this can be an interest.
every form of art delivers a different message.
different people produces different taste of art,as uniquely as they were created.
and cookery produces food,and the taste of satisfaction,
carbonara is certainly a nice dish to cook,but getting beyond that would certainly be more adventurous.i enjoy food.and i shall explore the skill of making it.

went to ikea wif ace and mei hwa.
and i ate AlOT.i had my yesterday nite's supper,my breakfast,lunch and dinner all in a meal at once.so needless to say,i ate and ate and ate.hee.
ikea's food is always so delicious,esp. tat "doesn't look appetizing yet can make your appetite burst" gravy.as i was gobbling my food,mei hwa and ace were havin entertainment jokin at my appetite,while i'm havin fun laughin at their jokes.
but from within these jokes,i realised something-my precious's high level of acceptance for me.
i do sports like t-rex.
i ate like dinosaurs.
i slp like pig.
whenever i said i'm still hungry after a big meal,he'll jus give as sweet smile asked,wat else would u like to eat..? but i pray i wont hav an appetite as big as universe tat could eat his asset away.lol.
ikea,still my fav. eatin and shoppin place for now.
and i wanna decorate my rm!!!

this somehow describes kinda accurately...hee.


Feb baby...
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

highlighted ones are me.hee.

Many had dreams in the world of the ARTS.




but how many had actually realised it in the reality.

sometimes...

it's better to face 4 walls,a screen and listen to gentle voices.
rather than going out to face many,yet listen to many not worth listenin.

it's better to understand a few,than to know a thousand acquintances.

it's better to search within self,than searchin self in others.

it's better to be average,than be the best yet fell the deepest.

it's better to be the hard-hearted me,than to be soft hearted and be deprived,again.

it's better to hate the world,than knowing the world hated me.

it's better to be with one or two,than be surrounded with imposters and liars.

it's better to cry a real cry,than to laugh a fake laughter.


i know who is true.i know who had hidden self-centered motives.i know who are here only when in trouble.i know who are the hi-bye acquintance.

it's better to be an observer than to be in the picture and be observed.